When prayers go "unanswered"

Today I write with questions and few answers. There have been any number of times in my life and doubtless yours too, when I have asked God to heal this person or change this circumstance and He has. And yes, I am grateful for every one. But the troublesome thing for every person on the face of the planet, I think, is "unanswered prayer" Now I'm not naive enough to think that they really are unanswered... I am fully aware that all prayers are answered it's just that some get answered "No" and others "Not now"

My brother and I lost our mom to complications of breast cancer when we were 19 and 21 respectively. She was 42 (same age I am now)

We lost dad in 2003 to complications of a heart attack and consequent bypasses (can't remember how many). He was 72.

Two months ago, my Aunt passed away after a lengthy and painful battle with cancer. We took it as a merciful answer to her desire to be done with the pains of this earth and be reunited with her Lord and her loved ones gone before.

Last week we lost my wife's 42 year old second cousin Amy to cancer of the uterus, discovered only 2 weeks ago.

In each case, the person lived a clear testimony of personal faith in Jesus Christ and therefore, we have the calm assurance of Second Corinthians 5:8 that for the believer to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord and of First Thessalonians 4:13 and following that we will meet again and share an eternity of joyful worship.

Yet each time this has happened, my sense of loss has been more profound than the last. I never met Amy. I had heard of her grim diagnosis and her progresses and setbacks, but her passing hit me like having the wind knocked out of me. I really expected a "Yes"

When my aunt died, I promised my uncle and cousin that I would call in a couple months when everything had settled down. That should be now. But I don't feel ready. Perhaps now is a good time because all the lofty sounding answers aren't there and I can say with them, "this hurts... a lot..." and "I don't know when the hurt will stop..." Thankfully I can also say that I don't remember how or when, but it does fade and the good memories don't (so much). So in balance, it does get better with time, I think.

I went to the hospital to see my mom on the morning she died. She was almost unresponsive... there are tears as I remember... I said, "Mom, it's Kevin..." she said "A, B, C, D..... Jesus loves me..." It was the last thing she said. I never knew her to lie.

Jesus loves me...

Your hurting brother is done rambling now.